Arranging Christmas contact with your children

05/09/2019

Christmas is a time for family, but it can bring heartache for those who've separated or divorced. Making arrangements to spend time with your children over the festive period can be fraught with disagreements and arguments about who has them, when and for how long.

It’s a tricky situation. Deciding how to divide up your children’s time over the holidays can be problematic - who has them on the big day, do they spend time with both of you or is that too unsettling for them, when are they going to be picked up, how will they cope not being with both of you – it’s all a little too difficult, especially when emotions are running high. So, to help, we’ve outlined some suggestions about how to come to an agreement for child arrangements so that everyone can have a Merry Christmas:

  • Discuss arrangements well in advance to avoid hold ups, bad feeling and arguments. This is especially important if you’re the resident parent. That way both of you are aware of when you’re having the children so you can plan
  • This may well be a tricky conversation so go in to it with a commitment to stay calm. Be prepared to listen to what your ex wants because even if you think they’re being unreasonable, it’s about compromise
  • Don’t use the kids to get one over on your ex. This is about Christmas and your children will be looking forward to it, so make sure you make them front and centre of the conversation so that they don’t lose out
  • What’s best for the children? Will they really be happy spending the holiday period being ferried from one place to another? Give them settled periods to enjoy Christmas and their presents without being swapped between parents too frequently
  • Children love Christmas. The last thing they want is to be caught between their parents arguing over who spends Christmas Day with them. If it’s not possible for you all to spend the big day together, perhaps they can have two Christmas Eves and two Christmas Days?

If you’re struggling to come to an agreement on your child’s arrangements, we can help. We offer advice and guidance on making sensible suggestions that will make sure children get to see both parents, and their extended families, over the festive period. More importantly, that everyone gets to enjoy their Christmas

The breakdown of a relationship seldom ends amicably, but if children are involved it’s important to make sure that they don’t end up paying the price of your separation. If you want to discuss your situation, call us to find out where you stand legally.

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